QRIMOLE – October 2022

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It’s time once again for QRIMOLE!  Let’s take a look at the questions for this month!

When the news of Jennie and Taehyung dating came out, I thought they were a cute and age-appropriate couple. Then it became obvious that the couple pictures were not leaked by someone who had access to Jennie’s private Instagram, but by someone who hacked Jennie’s phone. I was concerned for her that she might have very personal photos and info in her phone and sure enough, a bathtub photo was leaked and there could be more to come. At this point it’s hard to understand why YG and Hybe are not taking severe action. What do you think is going on?

Probably the work of a sneaky journalist or “friend” who managed to gain access.  Most “hacking” isn’t people typing in magic lines of code that do amazing things, hacking is 90% a social engineering activity.  Sure, you can set up a code trap that can do amazing things but the human still has to fall into the trap and that’s where the social aspect comes in.  It’s ironic that hacking, an activity stereotyped as the pastime of only most ultra-nerdy shut-ins, actually requires mad social skills to pull off effectively.  As for the companies taking action, well maybe they are, who knows – but in a situation like that, once the cat is out of the bag, what can you realistically even do about it after the fact.  Practice data safety, kids.

I was pleasantly surprised by La Poem’s ‘The War’ when you posted them on your 9.26.22 roundup. It does make me sad though that you’re right – they’re not gonna get the attention they deserve because most fans really only care about the pretties. Choi Sunghoon’s (countertenor) range really started me though – I didn’t think a man could sing that high unless he was a prepubescent choir boy, or a castrato. How much of that range do you think is natural, and how much of it is him pushing his voice beyond a “healthy” level?

Singing to that range is a matter of training, you generally don’t pop out of the womb being able to do that, instead you practice singing and over time you practice extending your range.  Yes he’s high but a male with training can pop out extended head voice like that just fine if they’ve got the equipment.  Of course genetics play a part also.  When singing the word “healthy” is always relative because all singing has the potential to damage the voice to some degree, even with correct techniques.  For what it’s worth I find La Poem annoying to listen to due to their vocal style (although “The War” is the best song they have by a mile, I just hate opera vocals and anything that sounds operatic) but they do at least have the technique down, I was just making the point that fans who go on and on about how much “vocals” mean to them don’t actually care about that stuff at all because they will ignore actual good singers completely and just talk about their bias instead.  Some K-pop fans are only really interested in “vocal pedagogy” because it gives them another route to potentially think their faves’ shit doesn’t stink.

Is there any chance of seeing Indian girls on Kpop groups?

Wasn’t there some “international k-pop group” who had an Indian girl or was she from somewhere else, I can’t remember.  Anyway I don’t see why it couldn’t happen if the agencies decide they want to try and recruit from there, I’m sure plenty of people would be up for it.  It’s really just down to if the companies want to give someone from there a go plus have the logistics to do an Indian recruitment drive, and a lot of them probably don’t, but that doesn’t mean someone won’t.  It would certainly be a way to set a group apart, and standing out from the pack is something a lot of groups aim for and the companies often use race/nationality to do it (see my interview with Melanie from ChoColat).

Hi oppar, I’m the person who asked a question in September last year about an online friend who I had troubled feelings for and who wanted to come over. Ever since then, the following has happened:

– He still hasn’t come visit due to certain circumstances
– I found myself liking him more
– In February I came clean about my avoidances, apologized, and told him I would be willing to try something more
– …that’s about it.

We talk about as much as we used to (text only, since I don’t want my parents to overhear any conversations), and although I do like him a lot (or at least the image I have of him), I’m not happy. I want someone close to me and every time I think of him I’m reminded there’s a very large distance between us.
I’m aware the answer here is to have an honest conversation with him, but I don’t know how to go at it. Because I’m avoidant we still don’t talk that often (maybe once or twice a week), and I feel a sense of responsibility that if I can’t communicate properly, at least I should keep the relationship going to make up for it. I also keep thinking that if I were more patient and tried harder maybe the relationship could evolve in a positive direction distance-wise, eventually, but I have no idea.
On top of that, I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I worry there may be lingering feelings even if we decided to not progress things as they are.
What do you think? How should I approach the topic tactfully?
Thanks in advance.

One more thing: do you think it would help to talk to him via voice chat instead of text? I don’t usually have opportunities to do so because I don’t want to risk my parents hearing me and potentially getting worried about what I’m doing online. It’s embarrassing since I’m old enough to not have to explain myself and they might not even care, but we had an argument over it when I was younger and I would rather avoid the topic in case they do care.

A year is a long time to wait.  If it were me I’d either be delivering an ultimatum (and importantly, one without a long timeframe attached, and sticking to it), or just giving up and doing my best to try to move on.  But if you are going to do either of those things, I would highly recommend voice chat.  You really shouldn’t have important conversations via text as it’s so easy to misunderstand someone that way.  The problem with your avoidant behaviour is that if you avoid things too long you can end up throwing away large chunks of opportunity and even large chunks of your life, it’s good to try and confront things, and have a plan.  You’ve been corresponding for a freaking year seriously the thought of “tact” shouldn’t even enter your head, just ring him and say “look are we going to meet up or am I going to continue to waste my life, because if nothing is going to be happening here I’m ready to move on, what will it be, answer in 30 words or less, you have two minutes to think about it”.  Any decision that you both make here is a better outcome than where you are now.  I don’t mean to apply pressure but try to sort this out before Putin starts nuking everyone if you can.

Kpoopy my gaseumi can’t take it anymore ❤ my lub, my lipe. So many questions so lil time ~~** 🙈

1. Why are the worst singles by an artist usually the most popular. I’m thinking West End Girls – PSB, or I Just Can’t Get Enough – Depeche Mode

2. Will you be doing a post on how to run a label/how a label is run? I’m thinking ours will be Big Booties Inc, because I have a big booty. Wanna touch it?
(‿!‿) ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

3. Vai, Knopfler, Hendrix, or the guy who did that song with Bob Marley. Brain fart!
*my brain farted*

4. Tell ur gf she better watch her back. And then tell her her shoes are hideous like that new big girl in Twice.

That’s it for this month KKKpoop

༼ つ ‿ ༽つ✂╰⋃╯

1. Because people are shit

2. Not going to post about running a label since k-pop fans are already “experts” at it hahaha, nice ass but dinner and a movie first geez

3. All of them are lame stan Yvette Young

4. What makes you think that you’re not the one who needs to watch out for her, especially after dissing her footwear

10/10 emoji art creativity though keep ’em coming

Reviewing the reasoning you gave behind women who don’t accept trans women, I’ve noticed that similar lines of logic have pervaded certain other hot-buckle social topics that have come up in the k-pop community. Non-gays can’t say faggot because they haven’t endured the hardships that come with being gay, non-Black folks can’t wear box braids because they haven’t experienced the historical stigma around traditionally Black hairstyles, non war or cancer enduring people can’t make dark jokes about the horrors of war or equate things to disease because they don’t know what it’s like to live in an active warzone or be diagnosed (remember Sohyang? lol), the list could go on but without this blog I wouldn’t have noticed this specific pattern. I guess if people thought that bad histories can both be acknowledged and moved on from in positive ways, not every action is an attack, and that a variety of healthy responses can arise from processing emotions, discourse would be a little different online (or at least the ultra-Americanized version I’m stuck with for now).
For the real question: I’ve been songwriting for at least 2 years now in the comfort of my own home, but nothing I make ever seems to stick positively in my mind. I’ve created a very wide span of songs with varying inspiration, but eventually, all of these songs have fell out of favor with me, and my DAW library has ended up empty as a result. There was a really cool Cocteau Twins style track I wrote a few days ago I was going to assign textures to, but I’ve lost contact with the spark that motivated me to like it so much. I write a lot based on emotion, many of the songs I wrote were specifically meant to communicate how I felt at the time, so does a lack of liking mean that I’ve moved on from whatever negativity inspired me in the first place? How do I be consistent with working on a song, and continue to like it at the same time? Thanks.

It could be, however just because you were inspired by something doesn’t mean that you have to stick with that the whole way through.  Often I get an idea for a piece of writing, and as I write the idea completely transforms, by the time I’m done with it it’s often nowhere near what I imagined it to be at first.  My fiction content is definitely like that, sometimes a story takes a certain turn that I didn’t see coming when I started writing it, and that had nothing to do with the original inspiration for such, and then I have to go and rewrite the beginning!  I’d say there’s no reason to keep your ideas “pure”, definitely try to run with them and see where they go.  Just also keep a backup of the original in case you decide you want to reverse course (but generally, if your inspiration takes flight, you shouldn’t reverse anything).

I’m the person who asked a question regarding contracts renewal for Monsta X a few months ago. So it turns out that they all signed except I.M who will stay with the group but not with Starship. The company mistreated I.M in many ways that would take too long to get into here, however there is one thing that may seem very minor but that really pissed him off. Every time Monsta X got interviewed by a foreign magazine, I.M was not allowed to communicate with them directly in English (even though he is fluent) but was forced to communicate in Korean so that the manager would understand what he said. This is ridiculous, especially considering Monsta X are senior idols and have given interviews for 7 years now. It’s to the point that even journalists themselves are annoyed with this and often make a mention of it in the article. The latest was in German magazine ICON which started the article with “The manager would like I.M to speak only Korean so that she understands everything”. It makes sense for companies to monitor interviews for rookie idols but why do this to a group in their late 20s? All idol companies do this and it seems so counterproductive to me. These experienced idol don’t need hand-holding and micromanaging.

Quite the contrary from management’s perspective – their view of it would be that a veteran idol might be less likely to be trusted, having experienced “the system” for quite some time and perhaps not be that keen to go along with the plan, they might be more inclined to have had a gutfull of mistreatment and let something slip to the media etc.

1) Is going to Australia for Christmas worth it? I live in the Northern Hemisphere but I hate the cold, so Christmas in summer sounds appealing to me
2) Have you ever been or would you like to be somewhere cold and snowy for Christmas?

  1.  I guess if you like the heat it probably is worth it, because at Christmas time there sure is a lot of it here.  You won’t be cold but be warned that depending on which part of the country you go to, what is considered a “heatwave” in many places of the world is just normal here.
  2.  I don’t really care about doing it at Christmas specifically but I’d like to go somewhere when it’s snowing, as I’ve only ever seen snow on TV, never in real life.  Maybe one day my touring activity will take me somewhere like that.

Oppar, I have a few “quirks” that I am not sure my family would be ecstatic to find out:
I am secretly in therapy (which my parents think should only be reserved for the most traumatised of people);
I am not straight (my dad has made fun of gay people before, and my grandma literally thinks they are “wired wrong” but “harmless”)
I do not want children, in fact, I find them kind of nasty (my mom has pestered me about finding a boyfriend and having children and my grandma won’t stop gushing about babies and telling me stories from my own childhood, which are always gross or really annoying. I must have been the most irritating little shit on the planet).
All of this has been on my mind recently and I find it very exhausting. I’m even slightly hesitant to open up to my therapist about the baby shit, despite knowing that she isn’t judgemental or intolerant. I might be slightly paranoid, because my family has never punished me for my fuckups…
Worse, I live in a shithole Slavic country where none of what I described is illegal, yet people have far more extreme views of it than my family.
Oh! I am also financially dependent on them, so I can’t just drop the figurative nuke and slink away.
What do I do, do I just focus on finding good coping mechanisms for the time being?

Not sure why you’re hesitant to mention the baby thing to your therapist, trust me they’ve heard worse and will probably have some good advice that’s more along the lines of self-acceptance rather than forcing the idea of children down your throat.  You should also make friends with my girlfriend, she feels much the same as you on this issue.

Given the sheer amount of bombs you have to drop plus your dependent situation I’d suggest keeping it under the radar and working on your financial independence as top priority, so that when you do have to let loose (or something gets discovered) you won’t be up shit creek.

I was browsing Youtube and found this.


You’re the person I know who has the most knowledge about music touring and concerts. How expensive would the things in this video cost? The projections are seriously impressive. It’s almost as if the animations are 3D and in the actual world. I can’t wait to see when the technology progresses to the point that sci-fi-esque holograms become real. Also of note, I noticed how similar the audience’s reactions are to fans of real artists and especially Kpop. Do you think Vocaloids and virtual singers in general will reach the mainstream in the future with the same kind of cultural impact as those? I know that Vocaloids only really started becoming a popular niche once they were given stated personalities, so the companies could take advantage of the same kind of parasocial relationships that dominate Kpop. I can only imagine how much stronger this all would be once AI advances to a point that virtual personalities can remotely emulate humans. I’m still not sure how to feel about all that. On the one hand, I definitely don’t believe in such a thing as a soul, so I have no qualms about the virtual-ness, and something that makes people feel happy is definitely worth supporting. On the other hand, corporations will absolutely take advantage of vulnerable people through this, though I guess that’s still far better than how Kpop artists and fans are taken advantage of right now.

I can’t comment on the technology here that I’m not familiar with, because I don’t know what sort of kit is required to do projections like this (I’ve never worked on a show with holo projections), but generally speaking the real cost with any production like this, regardless of the tech, is actually staff.  Just paying the orchestra alone would cost a ton, which is why huge “band plus orchestra” events tend to be one-offs and not touring situations.  Likewise with a large technical rig, the real cost is actually the staff that you’re paying to operate the rig, especially with something at scale that also is very specialised.  Then there’s all the other people you have to pay for like venue staff, security, audio engineering, lighting, riggers for the more standard stuff, plus travel and accommodation for everyone who needs to be transported etc etc.  Those sort of costs would probably dwarf the hire cost of a holo-projector.

I’m not sure if virtual idols are ever going to be more than a niche appeal thing.  Of course the video is appealing just because it looks impressive, but I doubt we’ll see a time in the near future where virtual idols dominate, humans will always prefer to bias other humans first before a machine (sorry Chuu+).

Hello! I hope you’re doing fine. I was going to submit this question to your Retrospring, but I eventually realised it’s more suitable for Qrimole, especially given the topic at its core.

So I was scrolling down my Twitter feed the other day in search of… scientific material, and I stumbled across an account called @brancotwins (NSFW). As implied by the username, this account is run by two gay twin brothers who upload homoerotic pictures and videos to Twitter, friends2follow, and TOP4FANS (alternatives to OnlyFans). Most of the times (on Twitter), they just pose naked together, but they can also be seen doing spicy physical contact, such as squeezing each other’s butt cheeks, lying naked on each other, or even touching each other’s tongues. Given this, I’d assume their paid NSFW accounts feature way more than that.

This situation definitely left me in an awkward limbo. On one hand, I’ll admit they are attractive and pretty good at setting the mood and finding the right poses/angles/etc.; however, on the other hand, there’s definitely the feeling that something’s not right, it’s that usual “I need a shower” feeling (a mixture of itching and blood rushing through your veins). On top of this, their TikTok and YouTube accounts also display several instances of them either giving each other small kisses on the lips or almost kissing but not quite (examples here, from 5:19 to 5:49).

With this in mind, I would like to hear your thoughts on this situation and consensual incestuous relationships (either sexual or romantic). In the case of the Branco twins, the whole thing definitely seems to be legal and consenting (they’re 23 at the time of writing), and as long as they’re happy with their “brotherhood with benefits”, I’m happy too – but, as I said before, I can’t shake away the negative feelings I get when watching their content.

However, as far as I know, incest became a taboo for mostly social reasons (e.g. to foster marriage between people of different tribes/clans/etc), and the moral reasons are more linked to parent-child relationships than to sibling relationships, so maybe the Branco twins (and sibling relationships in general) are not as immoral as I thought (especially if they’re legal and consenting)? Maybe their shared sexual orientation brings them closer because they can understand each other’s LGBT problems more (e.g. they can comfort each other if they receive homophobic attacks)? But wouldn’t there still be a sort of “modesty wall” to prevent them from going further with the physical contact? I could certainly picture having one if my own brother was gay.

So the point of all this rambling is: what do you think about this situation and sibling relationships in general? In your opinion, is it fine to “use their content for scientific purposes” or not? Do you agree or disagree with the above points, and why? Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Thanks for giving me the chance to talk about this topic, and have a nice day!

Well I clicked on that Brancotwins Twitter and didn’t see a lot of almost-kissing, did see a lot of other things!

Incestuous relationships, I think there’s three reasons why they’re, for want of a better way of putting it, “not ideal”.  The first one is the fear of a mutant kid popping out with ten heads and a tentacle, and I’m not a genetic scientist so I don’t know how much of that is rational risk vs scaremongering but obviously this isn’t an issue when we’re talking about a gay couple like in this case, or a couple that knows how to use contraception properly.  The other reason, which I think is more relevant, is that if you think about your own siblings when growing up, were power dynamics ever very equal?  When your sibling relationship progresses to a sexual level, you’re not starting off the relationship with a “clean slate”, but adding a sexual element to a relationship that was probably already very complex without it and might have some serious power imbalances, as relationships between siblings tend to have.  So I’d be really concerned about the possibility of coercion etc, not saying that it would be there by default and things couldn’t work in some circumstances but… I’d just be asking a lot of questions.  The third issue is that when you have an incestuous relationship, by keeping things in the family you deny the possibility of the diversity and breadth of experience that having someone from outside the family unit brings to the table.  I think that’s the real reason why it just feels “icky” to a lot of people, it’s like someone who never, ever wants to go outside, just… go outside man, experience life, stop being such a shut-in.  You won’t die if the sun hits you, you know?

Do you think this song is a good song to play during sex?

No.

I don’t even need to link the song.  You all know which one it is.

Does biasability mean “willingness to sleep with based on appearances alone” from your standpoint? Or do more “general aesthetic standards” also contribute? (E.g. I think AKMU’s Suhyun is very cute aesthetically but she isn’t really my type.)

I guess on a side note, are there idols who you recognize as attractive from a visual standpoint/enjoy looking at but don’t find attractive in a MRS sense? Or do you not understand why anyone would enjoy looking at them more than other people?

For me it’s “willingness to sleep with based on appearances plus any other factors that might apply”.  Not really “general aesthetic standards” at all, because I’m often factoring in many other things than just aesthetics.  Things like, how relateable is their situation, would we be able to get along, would it be a good personality fit, can they determine 25 grams accurately without scales etc – obviously I don’t really definitely know these things in a lot of cases so there’s quite a bit of guesswork involved!  I don’t take it too seriously.

I enjoy looking at anyone who presents in k-pop differently to the bland k-pop archetype, whether by extreme difference (Suhyun) or extreme conformance (Vivi) but that doesn’t really have anything to do with MRS or not.  I mean CL isn’t my type but she’s fascinating to look at, so is N.tic’s Jion, I still can’t stop thinking about him.

In your opinion, is it “morally right” to analyze and talk in detail about an idol’s appearance to discuss their possible plastic surgery, point out weight changes etc. not in a heavily opinionated way (“she gained weight! she should go die thats disgusting”) but in a more neutral way (“she gained weight”, “her face is more hollow, she could have gotten a fat graft”).

Idols are in the public eye so being scrutinised by the public is part of that, anyone taking up an occupation that puts them in the public eye should be prepared for comments about their appearance.  This applies to everyone.  Certainly, people feel free to comment about my own appearance and do so all the time, so why should it be different for anyone else?  The problems don’t come from people saying “I notice that person [x] is/has [y & z}” the problem is when people then extrapolate wildly from that and assume they can “just tell” certain things when in fact they have no idea of the reality of the situation or how it feels to be that other person.  Of course people will do it anyway, it’s to be expected, it’s just part of the effect celebrity has in general, I don’t think morality even enters into it.  It’s the wrong way to think about it.  Just like with objectification, vocal lipsync, idols collapsing on stage, safety standards at venues, or any other k-pop issue you can name, the real moral questions are always, without fail, at the other end of the equation.  The question should never be “is it morally right for me as a consumer to comment on [y & z]” the question should always be “what is it about the system in place that drives [y & z] and if this isn’t what we want, what do we want instead, and how can we shine a light on that and help it to get there”. 

Not a kpop group but what do you think of Rosalía? A lot of her music, especially her most recent album motomami, reminds me of kpop. Her music combines a lot of genres and the structures of her songs are a bit weird with sections that are pretty different from each other. Like many kpop songs, her songs even change genre within the same song. She does the whole combining singing and rapping. Dance and choreo is also a huge part performance. She even sings in a Spanish with English phrases and words mixed into it. The similarities between the two is perhaps why I adore both Rosalía and kpop.

I guess my question is how does her music compare to kpop? Also why is her music highly critically acclaimed by western critics while kpop is often not taken seriously despite both of them doing pretty similar things? Why is her music seen as experimental and groundbreaking while kpop is viewed as cringy and many fans even call if noise music? What is the difference?

I never heard of this woman so I had to go and listen to a bunch of her horrible music just to answer this question.  You definitely owe me.  Anyway I didn’t think it was all that similar musically to the big k-pop artists although some of the lesser-known ones that crowd the lower end of roundups probably do sound a bit like her.  But why do I think she’s perceived differently – the west has a certain stereotype about idol groups that they don’t have about solo singers and I think that’s what it is.  In the west, the songwriting quality of modern (80s going forward) idol groups has almost always been absolute shit and the marketing has often been atrocious too, whereas solo singers tend to historically have (relatively) good songs (sometimes) so that’s fueled that perception a lot.  Look at how any ex-member of an idol group suddenly gets taken more seriously when they go solo, like they’ve “grown up” or whatever and we should suddenly start paying attention now that they’re not in that cringe group anymore.  I think that if Rosalia was part of a 7-piece girl group of singers and dancers but making the exact same music she wouldn’t fly as well with western audiences because she would be harder to market.

You mentioned in your 2019 top 30 that TXT – Run Away was 6/8, but I can’t seem to hear it and it feels like it’s actually 4/4.

Am I missing something?

Yes you are.  What you’re failing to perceive is the “swing”, each beat is subdivided into groups of three rather than two, this is what makes the song 6/8.  Of course there’s an argument that it’s actually 12/8 and there’s a bit of ambiguity there for sure, because the difference between 6/8 and 12/8 really just boils down to how a transcriber would choose to write it out and doesn’t translate to much of an audible difference, 12/8 might make more sense given that it’s like 4/4 “in threes” and 4 x 3 = 12 but I tend to just write about 6/8 when I talk about triplet subdivision because 6/8 is more readily understandable to anyone with a music background (as songs transcribed in 12/8 are rare) plus it’s one less digit for me to type out which matters when you’re making an 8000-word post.  Another way of transcribing the song would be 4/4 but with a notation to “add swing”, but doing it this way would make it harder to transcribe the parts where all three subdivisions are played, meaning you have to crowd out your sheet music with added triplets, I’d prefer the more technically correct 6/8 or 12/8 way of writing it down.  The main takeaway here is that the triplet feel is all the way through every part of the song (only exception is the trap breakdown and even that kicks into 6/8 again when they segue back to the original feel), it’s not just an occasional three-for-two thrown out by the singers, literally the entire thing swings the fuck out of itself from start to finish.  So that’s a really good case for 6/8 or 12/8.

Hey oppar,

Another social issue for you to attempt to parse with limited context. How exciting. [a bunch of stuff removed at reader request] kpopalypse, I really don’t understand why she keeps bringing this up to me and/or what she wants me to do or say.

I think she wants you to ask about it so she can come clean with you.  She probably has some guilt that she’s hanging onto and talking about it would make her feel better.  Maybe it’s like Hana in Show Me Love who just needed to have a bit of a confessional to feel okay about some things, so I’d be encouraging about getting her to open up.  Just don’t offer her a drink or she may get the wrong idea.

Here’s a scenario question that I thought of (maybe it could be a future survey question lol):

You have been watching videos and scrolled through many pictures of your bias almost 24/7. Until one day, you wake up and find them staring back at you in the mirror. You find out that you and your fav idol have switched bodies. Not long after, you are suddenly face to face with your idol in your body, after they have flew back to Korea to meet you. Assuming you are attracted to them and have developed feelings for them prior:

Would you still be able to love *your fav idol* in your body?
Or fall in love with yourself in *your fav idol’s* body?

I had to reread this question about ten times and even now I’m not sure if I fully understand what you’re asking.

I guess I would go home and masturbate in the mirror and see if I could actually get turned on?  I dunno, but I feel like my reaction to that would go some way toward answering the question.

a bit of backstory, i guess: back when i was 13-14 i had an eating disorder. i was basically forced into recovery when i was 17 and while i’ve never had a ‘healthy’ relationship with food/weight, i was at least able to eat and i put on some weight. during the pandemic i decided to start working out at home and, well, i kinda started engaging in ed behaviours again and now, two years later, i’m fully relapsed and stuck in a terrible cycle of restriction and binging trying to somehow get back to how i used to look like lol :/

now this isn’t the issue. i mean, it’s an issue because i’m hurting myself and i’m aware of that, but i’m feeling pathetic about something that is related to this in a way.

i have a feelings for a friend. he was a bit of an asshole when we met but i was a bit of an asshole as well and we became close really fast. we’re the same age, we come from very similar backgrounds and we just have a lot in common. he’s also really smart and good at what he does and that really does it for me somehow lol

i’ve been aware of my crush for a while and i’ve been trying to get over it because he has a girlfriend but we spend so much time together (at work and outside work) that it’s being really hard. the worst part is that… this is fueling my ed and my desire to be really really sick again. i know it’s totally irrational, but his girlfriend is stunning and she’s also skinny and i guess a very evil part of me is trying to tell me that if i was skinnier i could get that same type of attention from him. i would never do anything to hurt any of them and they seem super super happy together but i just can’t get over these feelings.

i’m just wondering if i should say something? if there’s anything i can do? (other than getting therapy, i’ve been reaching out, but it’s taking a while to actually get an appointment) i don’t really think being honest about all of this would do any good (and i don’t want to lose his friendship), but i feel like i have to distance myself for my own good. it’s just that i also think he deserves some sort of justification for this because we’ve been really close friends for the past year and if i stop talking to him it’ll be super weird, i just don’t know what to say

I’ve known a few people with eating disorders and honestly I’ve never really known how to handle that type of situation when it’s someone I care about.  On the one hand it’s hard to watch and I don’t want to just do nothing and ignore it but on the other hand I always worry that if I draw attention to it or bring it up in conversation, it’ll just make things even worse because it’s like added scrutiny on top of the scrutiny they’re already giving themselves.  You might think the ED isn’t the main issue but I really feel like it is, because I think that’s a driver for a lot of the other stuff going on here.  I think the therapist is definitely the way to go as they’re trained to handle this stuff and they may have better advice on how to deal with the friendship side too.  Putting aside the ED completely though I think if I was crushing on someone who was with someone else, no matter who, and no matter what circumstance, I would create all the distance in the world that I possibly could, and not explain anything to anybody.  I wouldn’t actively push someone away or be rude about it, but I would just make zero effort to keep any kind of connection maintained, and then just use whatever space was generated to recover mentally and try to move on.

Kpopalypse oppar!!

Much of this blog has been dedicated into helping out both Kpop fans and idols alike by shining a spotlight on the myriad ways of assraping in the music industry.

But what about you? What’s YOUR assraping story to tell? It’s ok if it’s too personal bro.

My anus hasn’t fully recovered, I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about it.

Seriously though my own experiences have been pretty good, although when I was running a label I did have some issues with certain artists.  I tried to do things by an “honour system” (common in the very independent end of the music biz) but I was overly idealistic and ended up getting fucked a little by not having a contract that I could hold people to, decades later I’m still owed a fair bit of money that I’ll probably never get back.  You live and learn.

Why do you think JYP changed his strategy from creating an ‘it girl’ with Suzy and Miss A to an ‘it group’ with Twice? Do you think he now regrets this direction, given that Jennie being the It Girl for Blackpink has worked out so well, with Blackpink being absolutely huge right now? Not that Twice haven’t done extremely well, it just feels like they peaked a while ago. It feels like Jeongyeon, Nayeon, Tzuyu or Sana could all have been contenders, but while there was some individual pushing (except Jeongyeon) it wasn’t to the same degree as Jennie, especially in Blackpink’s early years. Apologies for quoting something you wrote a long time ago, but I remember you saying that creating an It Girl/Boy was the final goal of a kpop group, so I got curious about the divergent directions of the two biggest groups right now.

I’m not sure what you’re basing this on, I don’t see that JYP has changed his strategy in any way.  Just because no one particular person has reared their head as “that girl” doesn’t mean that he didn’t hope that would happen, or that he won’t try to make it happen in future.  I think Nayeon’s recent solo is an attempt to do exactly this.

The similarities to Hyuna’s “Bubble Pop” are no doubt very deliberate, as she was an ‘it girl’ in her day so he’s trying to put Nayeon into a similar role.  No doubt JYP has cottoned on to Nayeon being popular and is trying to push her into that space and make her “that girl” in Twice.  Will she ascend to the heights of Jennie in Blackpink, maybe or maybe not, but you don’t know if you don’t try, and JYP is in a good position to try.  If it fails, he’ll probably do the same thing with Tzuyu, or Sana, or someone from Itzy, or whoever else is seems worth trying with.

Hi Kpopalypse! I would like to ask you for advice regarding making friends.
The thing is I want to be able to make friends with a famous or partly famous Asian girl (I am also Asian) who is a known cosplayer or was/is an idol member of a Kpop girl group, but the problem is I honestly don’t really know how to go about that because I understand making friends in general is not going to be as simple as just going up to the person you want to make friends with and asking to be their friend. One thing to note is I just want to be friends with them as I already have a gf who I’m happy with and also find super cute (but is not a famous cosplayer or Kpop idol), it’s just I want to make a few new friends outside my usual friend group of gamer buddies who I think are cool, which are the aforementioned people.

Normally, I’d just try to organically make friends with people of those particular groups but I don’t ever really seem to have the chance to meet such people in my area, my workplace does not have such people (Not to mention I don’t think trying to be friends with coworkers is a good idea anyways), and honestly since I live here in the Weast, it’s rarer to find such people outside of anime conventions (which I usually just go to to play in fighting game tournaments)

Do you have any recommendations I could try to make a friend or two from those particular social groups? I understand it’s probably going to be a long shot. I was thinking of trying new activities or approaching the cosplayers I want to befriend the next time I go to an anime convention instead of just beating the shit out of con attendees in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate but what would be a good way to go about that in a way that is not inappropriate/creepy/would piss off my partner?

Thanks in advance Kpopalypse. I have no intentions on trolling and I apologize if I say anything wrong, I just am hoping to get advice on this if possible. Since you have been able to talk to former Kpop idols before I figured you’re the ideal person to ask for advice.

Really I am the most antisocial fucker ever, why are people even asking me this.

Having someone as a ‘target’ and trying to make friends with them, is honestly a little weird.  Why target this person specifically, I don’t really get why someone would even do that.  It feels like raising the stakes for no reason.  But if you want to get to know cosplayers in general – well, if there’s one thing that all cosplayers love to talk about, it’s their costumes.  So go to the next convention and instead of just playing games, perhaps find some impressive looking folks and ask them about how they created their costumes, that’s a non-threatening non-creepy way to get to know people.  If you want to know how to make your girlfriend cool with it, just take her along, and let her talk to them as well (if she wants).  You might both make new friends.  Just if you do meet a k-pop idol don’t make the mistake of talking about k-pop they’ll probably run away screaming.

What makes this song


so catchy?

Lyrics are so simple and direct that it’s almost baffling.

I think this song is pretty fucking awful actually.  The lyrics aren’t anything that I haven’t heard before in similar female-empowerment-themed pop songs, and yeah it’s more direct than most k-pop but compared to literally any other music it really isn’t anything special there.  The actual music is still absolute garbage though so even if these were the best lyrics in the world I wouldn’t care.  I guess the catchiness comes from repetition because it has that one repetitive (and very annoying) hook in the chorus.  So in short… ask someone who likes this trash.

1. Why the FUCK do idols not have someone going through their social media? it’s really weird to me because companies control every aspect of their lives but somehow allow them to freely google themselves and read all the negative comments and stupid controversies k-roaches pull out of their asses. Is nobody telling them “hey this is bad for your mental health and most of these comments are bullshit anyways”?

2. You know what’s also weird and has bothered me for a long time: you’re supposed to have a thick skin to survive the training process and become an idol, and yet idols seem to be extremely sensitive to even random negative comments that no one cares about. I know that it’s just the nature of the internet and it is scientifically proven that the negative anonymous troll message on twitter affects us more than positive comments but… idols take it way too far, don’t you think? it’s very next level. Western celebrities and even influencers have specific teams dedicated to monitoring comments and news about them because they know personally reading troll comments is bad for their mental health so… why do companies not do this instead?

3. I don’t watch vlives or any of that shit, so I was shocked when I saw screencaps of a Twice stream where Sana says something like “wow there’s a lot of hate comments”, apparently these vlives have no actual moderation besides basic word filters? they don’t have to turn comments into echo chambers but giving haters the power to leave hate comments and have the pleasure and the security of knowing that the idols WILL read those comments is very fucked up. Is this done on purpose?

4. My personal explanation to all this is that unlike what common wisdom would dictate, resilience and high self esteem are actually obstacles to debut because companies want malleable and submissive idol-slaves, and the training process seems to be less about learning skills and more about companies testing how far they can push their subjects and how much bullshit they can take before breaking.

Therefore someone with sufficient self esteem would be like “I’m not taking this abuse anymore, I don’t deserve to be treated this way so I’m leaving the fuck outta here”, so the end result aka the debut lineup are people who seem to treat online comments more seriously than genuine praise by both peers and fans, even taking into consideration the whole “rejecting praise because you have to be humble” bullshit posturing that east asian cultures do. It technically doesn’t make sense because idols are very physically resilient and are used to pushing through pain and starvation, but their mental states are different. Shouldn’t companies make sure that their idols are confident of themselves, since they make a living in the public eye? it is well known that in order to perform well on stage you have to gas yourself up and believe you’re the GOAT. Is my theory correct?

5. Finally: why do companies care so much about online comments too? I could accept this dumb behaviour in the 2nd gen days because netizen hate was kinda like a new phenomenon back then, but they should know by now.
For example: I genuinely believe Garam could’ve stayed in Lesserafim had Hybe ignored all the bullshit, sure she would have diehard haters but would that really affect the group’s activities? or were they just so worried about saving face because idols have to be prim and proper? don’t companies and agencies have way more important things to think about rather than netizen comments?

  1. Companies don’t care about idols’ mental health, they only care that the idols don’t post the wrong thing online.  Beyond that, they can’t be fucked monitoring them.
  2. This is essentially the same question as 1, so it has the same answer.
  3. No idea, I’m not that familiar with v-live, but I think it’s assumed that once you’re in the public eye you should be able to handle criticism that otherwise stays within guidelines.  Imagine if Metallica did a livestream and there were paid moderators that removed comments that were critical of Metallica, people would be like “you fucking babies with your millions of dollars fuck you”.
  4. Training is about learning skills, all the torture stuff isn’t to “build resilience” it’s just because the companies have piss poor management that don’t know how to properly coach performance.  Performing well isn’t about having an ego either, sometimes those things come hand in hand but just as often they don’t, k-pop “performance” is very much something where confidence isn’t needed because you’re performing steps to the milimeter so you just have to follow the instructions.  Companies just basically brute force performance out of their idols.
  5. It’s just cultural – Asian countries specifically have the idea of “face” and keeping up appearances so the comments are kind of seen as a litmus test as to how well those appearances are kept.  Which I personally think sucks and that’s why I criticise it often.

Hi oppa
My bf has had a new online friend for a while. She’s a lovely girl, but has deep psychological problems and is depressed. My bf is basically her only friend so he does his best to try to be a good friend, which I think is particularly nice.
The problem is, she needs to vent or someone to play with her constantly. That would not be a problem if my bf didn’t sacrifice our time together just to be a good friend for her. Lately he has left conversations to support her many many times, like, almost everyday.
I wanted to tell him that but I simply don’t know how without seeming like a total cunt, cuz I understand the girl has it tough. Am I too selfish for demanding a little me time? I feel like a shitty person.

If I was a nice person I’d say just talk about it with him openly, set some boundaries around it, etc.  However, I’m a cunt, so my advice instead is this: insist that each time she needs help, that both of you talk to her together, ALWAYS.  That’s the condition – every time they correspond, you are there too, watching and participating.  I think there may be more than meets the eye here, being right there with your bf while ALL the chat is happening should flush out some interesting stuff.

I want to ask that was it because the interval between the first note to third note (a 3rd) and the third note to fifth note (also a 3rd) and the first note to fifth note (a 5th) were all considered good (in the suspended harmony article you talked about the consonance and dissonance in the distance between notes) that they were chosen to form the major and minor chord (the optimal solution) rather than choosing the first, third and sixth note because whilst the distance from the first note to the third and sixth note are considered the most desirable (also from the suspended harmony article), the interval between the third note to the sixth note was a 4th, which is bad, so it’s better to have a chord formed by 2 good and 1 neutral than have 2 good and 1 bad? Or the selection was merely coincidental?  

If you do first, third and sixth, then what you have is a “first inversion triad”.  If you get the sixth and put it underneath the first instead of on top, i.e the same note but an octave down, then you just end up with first third and fifth again.  So it’s actually the same thing, if that makes sense.

Hello oppar! This is my first time asking here in Qrimole, but I’ve been a reader since 2015. I hope you have a good day.

The biggest nationwide songwriting competition here in our country has finally returned after 2 years (it was stopped due to COVID and some other issues in the organizer’s company).

I have been debating on joining this ever since, and when I found out that they are accepting entries again, of course I got excited! I read about their mechanics this year, and there seems to be a new bootcamp thing that they are adding (I’m sure this was not a part of the competition during the previous years). I have written a couple of songs that I’m confident of, but I do have some concerns.

First of all, and this might be a bit delusional in my part, but what if they did not accept me, but actually use (steal?) the song that I submitted? I surely don’t want to find out one day that my song is actually released by one of their artists without my knowledge or me being credited. Is this possible, oppar? And if, IF in the rare chance that this actually happens, how can I protect my rights of that song?

Second, is it worth it? I do want my songs to be heard, and this seems to be a great exposure and experience overall. But, you know, being a kpop fan, my style has been heavily influenced by the great kpop songs, yet this style is rarely represented in the past entries of this competition, so I might have a less chance of being picked?

Should I try submitting an entry, oppar? How should I approach this? Any tips? What are the pros and cons?

Yes there is a possibility that they can steal your song, but unless the agreement gives them specific permission to steal it (which is doubtful, but check it anyway) you can take legal action if they do.  The easiest way to prove that you wrote a song is to record it, then post yourself that recording, and then when the envelope arrives, don’t open it – you now have a datestamped proof of you song ownership.  Keep original master files.  Copyright protection is also automatic in most countries.

No, it’s probably not worth bothering with it.  Although I guess it depends why you’re doing it.  Winning a music competition actually leading to career opportunities, unless it’s a very top echelon competition (i.e Eurovision, or something televised) this is super rare, so rare that I can’t think of a single example.  If you’re unsure, check the list of past winners.  Have you heard of any of them?  Can you name a single song you know of that they’ve written?  If the answer to both questions is no, then that means they probably didn’t get much out of being a winner and neither will you.  So forget about it from a career standpoint.  However there’s nothing wrong with doing it for fun, or just to see if you can win.

If you do decide to write a song for this, brevity is your friend.  Aim for 3 mins length, no more.  Try not to do too much with it – don’t try to write an N.MIXX song, keep it simple.

Have you ever have to deal with weird Kpopalypse stans? Back in your ask-fm days I remember seeing some parasocial weirdos all the time, both the “adoring” type and the “unsolicited advice” type. Incidentally, I also remember people trying to recruit you into their culture wars and trying to sway you into taking certain political stances regarding race and gender. How did you make these unpleasant characters go away? I do not miss those times.

What I do miss though, was your blind items and anecdotes about the industry. You could do a whole post full of those with all the insider information you probably have, or better yet, write a young adult fiction novel about a kpop blogger who Knows Too Much and is hunted down by the SYG entertainment mafia 😌

The problem with me writing blind items is that I inevitably just get told I’m making it all up, and of course I can’t refute that without defeating the entire purpose of writing the blind item in the first place.  So it’s a lot of energy for no reward, but I’ve been experimenting with working some of my blind-item knowledge into fictional contexts lately…

Never had to deal with a “Kpopalypse stan” face to face but if I did I think I would just be thankful that people considered me worth the energy.  I guess if there are a lot of them in my personal life it might become a problem but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, hasn’t happened yet and probably won’t as I do keep my personal life and my writing fairly separated.

Hi I’m the person who asked the question about having weird followers. I didn’t know you had a retrospring or what retrospring even was until scrolling through the sidebar looking for the qrimole button and now that I’m looking through the answers I guess that’s where the annoying people who spend way too much time in (niche radical online circles) migrated to. My condolences.

I guess so, although I get relatively few of those kind of questions compared to other stuff, so I don’t find it that irritating.  I don’t mind talking to the radicals though, I’m okay with throwing down opinions on something tangible and exposure to my thoughts might help drag them back into a more sensible ideology!

Considering I’ve been a reader for years, I can’t believe it took me this long to realize I could ask you this question lol: what do you think about Peter Sotos? and what do you think about his work (do you think Min Heejin would like it? lol) but also: what exactly is he trying to say and convey through his work? why does he do this?

(For context, I listened to his Buyer’s Market album and I read all three issues of the Pure zine. That was a decade ago, so I haven’t looked into his other stuff yet.
I initially assumed the guy wasn’t actually into all this and was just interested in the darkest side of human nature and the hypocrisy of what it means to be interested in the darkest side of human nature and true crime (yuck) podcasts etc etc but by the end of Pure #3 I was like hmmmm am I gonna get into a list for having read this depraved shit? and then I forgot about him until the Newjeans debacle happened)

It’s really funny because if one showed this guy’s work to the average kpoppie they would cancel me instantly, yet Seungri and friends did things that Ian Brady would only dream of doing with 100 times the victims and somehow everything is fine huh

I’ve read some of Peter Sotos’ books (thanks to a friend of mine who used to collect them), and I’m also aware of his contributions to Whitehouse when he was a member.  I found his stuff pretty heavy reading, not just the subject matter, but the particular style of writing, I often had to reread passages multiple times to make sure I understood them.  His way of often writing from the perpetrator’s perspective and blurring the lines between reader, narrator and character is really confronting but it’s also often disorienting and hard to follow, it strained my attention span heavily, and I’m someone who likes to read generally.  How much he’s really into that shit I don’t know (and I think he keeps it ambiguous on purpose, to heighten his power to disturb the reader) but I think he’s primarily offering a media critique, he’s certainly saying similar things to what I’m saying when it comes to pedophilic dog-whistle and the way heavily sexualised content is often presented in the media with a dishonest veneer of morality, he’s just using a (much!) more brute-force method to do it.  I wouldn’t say I necessarily enjoyed his writing, but then I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to.  I’m sure that he would have a lot to say about NewJeans’ “Hurt”.  Min Heejin’s brain would explode if she read Sotos, as would the entirety of stan Twitter.

Please cover former Gidle iljin thug bully Soojin on a boobs post. She might be technically not a kpop any more, but you’ve got to admit that her legacy and fappability live on through her sexy scandal, and Kpopalypse is all about that (I hope). And I don’t mean her puppies, I mean her actual fucking tits!

I dunno, she doesn’t really qualify for the “big boobs” posts, but if she does more stuff I might find an excuse to post more pictures of her.

Have you ever been involved in a real life fight?

Yes.  I can’t count the amount of school fights I was in, as a bullying victim I lost nearly all of them.  As an adult I’ve been in relatively few.

I have been discussing this with myself for quite a long time. Now I need your help kpopalypse oppa. Who do you think it’s the idol who has the highest chance to do bdsm in bed? I’m thinking of Bibi? Thank you~

Gain as a sub, Irene as a dom, anyone from N.O.M as a switch.

Hi there Oppar!
So this past summer, my high school teacher gathered me and a bunch of his students from different schools to create an acapella group. Where I’m from, we’re still in the covid exit process so our projects are remote and consist of covers of songs that are just a bunch of layered recordings of our vocals with an accompanying video.

Recently, my teacher floated the idea that some of us could make our own arrangements for the group that we could perform. I want to do that. Now, being into the K-pops, and with the limitation that the songs needed to be either in English or our native language, the most logical choice I have for a song to arrange was LOONA’s “Star.”

The requirements for the arrangement are that the song should be cutdown to about 2 and 1/2 minutes give or take (we’re a bunch of unorganized teenagers so anything to keep it simpler is good) and that there’s only 4 vocal layers (soprano, alto, tenor, bass) alongside the main melody singer/s and the percussion.
With that in mind:
a)What are the most important parts of the song to keep around? Specifically, which sections of the song can be cut and what parts of the mix are the most important to keep to make sure the song still sounds like “Star”?
b) If ever I get to actually do this and post it, would it be ok to share it to the Qrimole for comments?

The “Star” video above is 3:32 – you need to get it to 2:30 – let’s go.

  •  The singing starts at 0:17, so you can chop the first seventeen seconds.  Total – 3:15
  • At 3:08 there’s an instrumental break and then it just repeats the last couple of lines, all of that can be chopped.  You’ve bought yourself another 24 seconds.  Total – 2:51
  • Chop out from 2:19 to 2:31 because for an acapella arrangement you don’t want to drag out the instrumental middle part.  12 more seconds.  Total – 2:39

That should be close enough to 2:30 to get over the line.

Once you do it, you’d better share it here or you’re in trouble!

me and the hoes wanna know if you liked gangnam avenue by caramel orange

It’s your lucky day because a recent roundup featured this!  I’ll be trying to cover some old songs in future roundups that I’ve never written about before.  Don’t expect very positive or negative reviews (because if I really liked or hated them with a passion they would already be on the best or worst lists) but your curiosity should be satisfied. 

How do I handle the “I’m a virgin” talk with guys?

I’ve been dating around recently and had some great experiences — but when I reveal my lack of experience they peace out. Is there an ideal way to break this news to a guy? I’ll be 25 in a few months and have never moved beyond second base (thanks conservative Catholic upbringing!)

I don’t want to mention it too early on to avoid risking attracting perverts who fetishize virgins, but I cant seem to find a time to bring it up, especially when online apps are mostly hookup-centered and most conversations always have an undertone of expecting sex.

I am definitely ready to lose it as well, I just can’t seem to find any willing takers who will be normal about it.

Then just don’t mention it.  Nobody has a right to know this information, you don’t owe anyone.  If you get asked “how much experience have you had?” answer “not much” and leave it at that.  If they pry further, just rebuke them for being rude.  Nice rebuke: “The experience between us should be the one that matters, shouldn’t it?”  Playful rebuke: “Not telling.”  Harsh burn if the guy is being a real dick about it: “Why is it so important to you?  Afraid you won’t measure up?”  If they keep pushing for the information after that, they are probably dickheads that you’d best not have in your bedroom anyway.

Hi Kpopalypse,

I’m 33, which means that for the past few years I’ve been seeing fashion and music trends from my youth resurge in popularity. Aside from making me feel fucking ancient, it bums me out a little bit to think that as time goes on, the amount of novelty I’ll get to experience in my life, or at least in pop culture, will decrease. Because after the 2000s revival will come the 2010s revival, and then the 2020s revival, and so on. Like, I remember loving the Spice Girls song “Stop” as a kid. My parents heard it and said, “That’s just Motown,” but I didn’t care because I was literally a child and had never heard Motown, so as far as I was concerned this was something brand new and just for me. Contrast that with getting into kpop in the past few years and hearing SNSD’s “Lion Heart” for the first time and thinking to myself, “That’s just Motown.” I still enjoyed the song because I have substantially the same music taste that I did as an 8 year old, but it definitely didn’t have the same impact as it did hearing that sound for the very first time. As a fellow aging person, does the same thing happen to you? Am I doomed to hearing variations on the same few themes forever until I die? Thanks.

Short answer: yes.

Pop music doesn’t like to take chances, hence why retro movements are popular – going back to something that worked well the previous time is tempting for agencies who are cash-strapped and need a surefire hit.  Get used to this feeling because it will only increase!

So a lot of *ugh* netizens are speculating that PNation is imploding, what with the artists leaving, the death at the super happy water fun time festival, etc. I’m pretty sure it’s mostly artists just looking to move on in general, or looking for more fertile grounds.

I do find it a bit shocking, because *supposedly* Psy was a CEO who let people “be themselves” and this really made sense for Hyuna and Dawn, but at the end of the day he’s still a CEO, so whatever.

Anyway my point is, TNX debuted and I swear the music, or at least the beginning of their debut, is just a Jessie song with a boy group thrown on top of it.

What are your thoughts on “musical identity” when it comes to Kpop? I mean for example, Dreamcatcher and Everglow have a “sound” while other groups jump every comeback to whatever seems to be in at the moment.

Sometimes it’s weirdly abrupt too. For instance, Weeekly had a sound forever and then jumped the shark with “Ven Para” and the b-side “Solar” was basically them being Everglow even more so than the title track.

I know an easy answer is that Kpop songwriting is an (unnecessarily) complex issue involving up to dozens of unrelated people but I’m hoping for a more “thoughtful and introspective” answer lmao.

Second question: How annoying is it for you dealing with submissions that meander for a fucking hour before getting to the question or that sometimes don’t have a question at all? Consider your answer fuel for my already useless blog.

“Musical identity” only really happens in k-pop in two situations:

  1. The project was formed with a certain specific musical identity in mind as part of the overall concept (Dreamcatcher, Rolling Quartz, Hong Jin Young)
  2. The same songwriter consistently works with the same performers on their biggest hits (EXID/T-ara and Shinsadong Tiger, Brave Girls/AOA and Bravesound, IU and herself/Lee Minsoo, also any self-writing groups like AKMU, BOL4, Love X Stereo etc)

If neither of those two situations apply, all bets are off, and literally anything could happen.  You might get a run of good songs as certain people work together, but then staff changes, or perhaps the creative director wants to switch things up and get people to try a new style and everything changes.  K-pop generally is one of the worst places to look in the entirety of popular music globally if you want to find groups with a “signature sound”.  In k-pop consistency is the exception, not the rule.

I’m used to the long-form questions, sometimes I read the last paragraph first.

I tried to see your bass tabs from patreon but it wont open at all??

That’s weird.  It should!  Perhaps you don’t have a program that can handle unpacking zip files, or you need to change the zip association in windows?  With so little information it’s hard to help here, but nobody else has reported a problem so I think unpacking software might be it.

Hi kpopalypse oppa. I’ve been a long time reader of your blog, although I haven’t gotten into Qrimole until recently, and have noticed the endless wisdom you have been pouring out to the countless lost souls that roam the halls of your blog. I applaud you, because I definitely get tired reading all of those questions let alone answer them with diligence and some good fucking advice too. You’re doing the Lord’s work for free at this point. So I would like to take this moment to ask you, do you ever get exhausted of listening to people’s problems? How are YOU doing?

You see, I’ve always been more of a listener then a speaker. I was always really bad at expressing my own feelings and tended to keep them to myself. That came with the unfortunate side effect of constantly having to deal with people’s bullshit, listening to their problems, giving out advice that I barely live by mysel. But many have told me that I was really helpful on their rainy days and there were many friends that appreciated that about me. But recently, I found myself lacking a sense of empathy. I just feel like I’ve been such a baggage dump for almost everyone in my life, having to support everyone without recieving(or wanting, to be honest) support from anybody else. I just don’t have the patience for all of that anymore. I find myself zoning out whenever people come to me with their problems lately, unable to sympathise, or even give half a fuck to be honest, before churning out some half-baked generic advice. And that has been especially true with my current boyfriend who is going through a lot recently and complains about it almost everyday. I unfortunately live in a country where access to therapy and mental health services is virtually unavailable. I know that clearly he needs professional help, but because he doesn’t have access to it, I’m stuck being his personal therapist and it sucks because it’s been draining the life out of me. I have talked to him about this but it only resulted in him kind of shutting me out and not wanting to open up to me anymore because he doesn’t want to “depress me”, while continuing to be moody and miserable. You can imagine that has done wonders for our relationship.

I don’t want to hurt him and I want to be there for him, but at the same time I feel like I can’t stomach that pressure anymore. It doesn’t help that some of the shit he’s going through is something I’m going through as well, but unlike him I hate complaining and tend to focus my energy on things I enjoy instead, like kpop, or dancing, or games. The best example is us being medical students. He’s a student in Ukraine but since the war, he hasn’t been able to go back and they’ve been studying online. But for me, I was studying in China and was basically kicked out and not allowed to go back since the beginning of the pandemic (January 2020). I’ve had to listen to him complain about studying online and the lack of clinical experience and practicals in general, while I’ve been enduring that shit for almost three years now. He complains about none of the hospitals wanting to offer him training, or that he feels unmotivated, or that he doesn’t know where his future is going, when I’m literally in the same position, not to mention I’m supposed to graduate next year and have next to no clinical experience to speak of (and he still has a year and a half to go).It just comes off as inconsiderate sometimes.

Anyways, I hope I didn’t bore you with my monologue. It’s just been really bothering me recently and I’ve always been better at writing my feelings than saying them. If you have any wisdom for this lost soul, please do deliver.

Fun fact, I used to write for Anti-Kpop Fangirl at some point, so we’re like *almost* ex-colleagues! Cheers oppa!

I think with your boyfriend just try leaving him to his own devices a bit.  If he gets moody and miserable that’s fine, just let him do that, don’t be tempted to try and fix.  Ultimately he has to handle his own situation and it’s not something you can fix for him even if you wanted to.  If he really is serious about you for the long term with you he’ll eventually pull his socks up and realise that he just has to do what needs to be done.  He’s in Ukraine, you’d think he’d have some resilience given what’s going on there, geez, if I was living over there I reckon I could find other things to complain about right now than an less-than-ideal study environment.  Maybe he’ll stop using you for a crutch and will find someone else like a friend to do that with.  Ultimately people can only vent on you if you let them, you’re in control so don’t feel bad about doing what is necessary for your own mental health.

Anti-Kpop Fangirl had quite a few authors and I don’t know which one you are but thanks for checking in!

You know, dating in the 21st century is trash if you’re doing things right (thanks Obama).
My ex was at one time the only woman who I could trust as a partner, but I had to break up with her a few weeks ago because she was being too pushy. This noona tried to make me do something I am against in order for her to get money.
Fast forward to about two weeks after where I’m once again having a sweet moment with the same girl who brought me enough trouble to push me in the direction of the ex I mentioned earlier.
Someone I met recently wants me to set me up with her friend in order to get her to stop lusting over a dude from her job who’s way older than her.
In short, dating is trash if you’re doing things right.
The whole story seems like something out of a K-drama or one of those webtoons my roommate likes to read.
If I wanted to write a book that completely discredits modern dating, should I write a satirical plot about it in the style of Rachel Kim or should I write a critique of modern dating in a more formal way? Either way, I will be completely merciless in my criticism of how things are going now (and offer one or more ways to solve the problem as well)

Fiction all the way.  What you’ve written sounds boring as shit as something to write a “critique” on (you will just look like a whiny bitch, regardless of how you phrase it) but it also sounds like the makings of a great novel.

what is your preferred milo to milk ratio?

mine is 1:1

i am a milo snob and i will take no further criticism, thank you

I don’t do milo and I’ve forgotten how strong or weak it is but it must be pretty pissy these days if people are actually going 1:1 with the milk and caping hard for that on Kpopalypse dot com.  You do you, no judgement over here.

  Dear Kpopalypse Oppar,
This one has a bit of lead in but I’ll attempt to be concise. I started playing music in earnest when I was 14, when I joined a band with a close friend, who is a serious musical prodigy. Plays every instrument under the sun, written and self produces about 5 albums a year prodigy. From that age I’ve played bass and seriously loved it. I had thoughts about pursuing music as a career and attending a conservatoire after school, but was put off by both a lack of parental support and a lack of self confidence, despite my friend’s encouragement and tutorage. I am now going into my second year of philosophy at university, and while I enjoy philosophy, I miss music. I practice bass by myself all the time, and have tried joining bands, but the only bands at my uni are pushing out remarkably boring Sam Fender-esque indie rock fare. I recently visited my friend who is at a conservatoire in Leeds, and being around him and his coursemates, and especially playing music with them, made me regret my decision not to pursue music, and realise how fulfilled I feel making and playing music around dedicated, talented and inventive musicians. I am 20 now, so I’m still young and have time to turn things around. I am by no means a prodigious player, and don’t play much other than bass (I’m autistic and, though I love all aspects of music, my deep adoration and fascination for bass will always be unmatched), but it’s been suggested I do a master’s at the conservatoire and attempt to pursue music. Do you think it’s worth it? What do you think the best course of action is if I wish to have a career in music? Any sage advice appreciated. 

Doing a masters degree, well I suppose you could, but I’d hardly consider it a necessary step to get into a good group especially if bass is your passion.  Uni is full of weak fucks, if you want to join a certain type of band the best way I find is to actually go out and see that type of band play live in a venue near you and get to know the musos.  They probably have friends with projects who are looking for people, or maybe they’re about to secretly kick out their bass player and you appear just at the right time.  Bass players are hard to find, so you’re pretty employable.

Hi, that German Nayeon stalker fuck did an interview with this K-pop youtuber. (skip to 3:00 when the ad starts)

Haven’t finished watching it cause it’s long and makes me sick. It seems a lot more confrontational than your interview with him from what I’ve seen.
While I obviously support the sentiment regarding the video, what are the chances onces are gonna try getting this taken down like they did yours?

100%.

He seems like he’s gone significantly more off the rails from when I spoke to him.  There was no yelling or raising of voices during our chat.  I definitely told him things he didn’t want to hear and that he reacted to strongly, but he also kept his cool.  Mind you, Josh is also pretty sexist and when watching this I feel like Ploopy678 definitely bore the brunt of his sexism, he wasn’t as keen to talk over me as he was with her, he pretty much shouts her down constantly once the debating part of the interview starts.  Nevertheless I think her interview is important because it clearly shows how far he has gone.  I am actually genuinely scared for what he might do, because I think he has the potential to do something very extreme especially if something happens like Nayeon is revealed to be dating.  Dumb ONCEs will criticise Ploopy but she’s doing a good thing here, JYP needs to take security of his idols very seriously so let’s hope he sees this video and is across this, him watching this video and realising the extent of the threat could actually indirectly save Nayeon’s life.

This isn’t specifically Qurimole related but as a bit of a kpop veteran more of an observation that you might take for a post or a response or whatever. So basically as a tiktok user, I’ve seen a big shift in the “let’s hate female kpop artists” scene. So I remember quite vividly the massive MR removed thing particularly with twice and blackpink, but also used to generally bash whatever female you felt like bashing on that day. However singing is now old news, no one really cares too much about how good or bad idols sing anymore. The hot new fresh hate train is dancing and stage presence. Popular hate train idols include Jennie – the classic that keeps on giving, Giselle – the new star that everyone and their cat has decided is worth their hate – bonus points for some of the main clips of her bad dancing being taken from rehearsals and played off as her main stage performances, Lily from NMIXX being one of the newest and fastest growing hate trains – basically just because her eyes are kind of wide in some fancams and she looks “””scared””” (wonder why), also Lia from itzy, winter from aespa ect. ect. there’s a lot. But pretty much every time I’m on tiktok there’s a new fancam being posted of some poor exhausted girl being torn to absolute shreds over how she’s performing. Never is there any discussion on male performers, only female. But anyway, this is the only place to put information to you anymore so here you go

Thanks for picking up on this trend so I didn’t have to sit through hours of TikTok and do it myself!  Could be fuel for a post later…

Recently I slept with someone I wasn’t dating the first time. Even though I’m not super into him romantically and I know he likes me as a friend but doesn’t find me incredibly attractive (thus the “us not dating” thing), it was a great experience. I was always told by people around me that sleeping with people casually isn’t worth it, that you’ll get attached or someone will get heartbroken or it wouldn’t be that great, but we already knew about each others’ preferences beforehand because we’re pretty open about that. It was the first time that sleeping with someone was fun mainly because the actions were fun and not because it represented strong mutual affection with the person. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it on a purely physical level bc I don’t view myself as a very physical person (don’t enjoy visual porn, don’t care about faces or bodies much, etc.)

Anyway I feel REALLY happy now, as if I’d just gone on a date with someone I liked or slept with someone I was dating and fond of. I’m not really sure why that is, because I don’t think I’m more into him than before. So I guess my question is, is casual sex with someone you’re physically compatible with underrated, and is there a good way to figure out you’re very compatible with someone beyond just sleeping with a lot of people and rolling the dice on maybe developing feelings for them?

Nothing wrong with casual sex as long as everyone involved knows exactly what’s at play and nobody has any illusions and can stick to the plan, I think it’s fine and there should be more of it.  Of course it doesn’t always pan out that way, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t work.  Working out compatibility is always tricky, as there’s many different levels of compatibility and sexuality is only one aspect of that.  Sleeping with someone can definitely help figure that out, but so can just hanging out with a person and having conversations sometimes.  I certainly identified that I wasn’t compatible with quite a few people I dated long before I even considered hitting the sheets (and thus I didn’t bother to go there).  But there’s nothing wrong with going the sex route as well, if you want to, just to see.

What are your thoughts on Bjorks latest album Fossora? Once again she seems to bring something new to the table. Kpop needs to look up to her more.

Haven’t listened to all of it, but I’ve heard a little.  Still making up my mind about what I’ve heard so far but Bjork just doesn’t give a fuck anymore about anything except doing exactly what she wants, and I love that about her.  Bjork these days is way too left-field and self-determined for all but a few in k-pop to take her seriously, the closest equivalents in Korea right now might be Cacophony or Yedd, she sort of sits somewhere between them at the moment.

You’ve been posting on this blog for what, ten years? With regular series like QRIMOLE, reliable weekly roundups, yearly bias lists and Best Of/Worst Of… I’m in awe. Genuinely impressed. And you don’t even run ads! This is the kind of skill that feels like it’s getting rarer in our era of social media and quick dopamine hits.

So, first of all: I wanted to mention how much I appreciate the content you provide with such regularity. Thank you!
Secondly: have there ever been times when you didn’t feel like writing this blog? Like maybe Kpop wasn’t as interesting, or you had better things to do on that particular Monday, or you felt like you’d gotten to the bottom of this particular rabbit hole? And if so, how did you deal with it?

Thank you Kpopalypse and have a great September!

After a few years of writing, I’d honestly covered many of the main topics that I really wanted to cover, so what I do apart from the simple reviewing of songs has since veered into different directions, just using the accumulated “lore” as a backdrop.  I could of course go over all that stuff again but I don’t just want to repeat myself all the time if I don’t have anything new to say.  I also don’t want to become a “news site” because there are tons of sites like that and I don’t really care about promo events, or even a “news and commentary” site, because I feel like that Asian Junkie’s niche, I’d honestly rather give him the traffic for people who want that sort of thing.  So instead, a lot of what I’m doing has been using k-pop as a conduit to shine light on something that isn’t normally covered in the context of k-pop writing, or, using other things that aren’t strictly k-pop related but which might still be relevant to k-pop fans.  So if I want to write about something new and different, I can use k-pop to do it, so it stays relevant while at the same time being different.  The music theory series is a good example of this.  And then I still insert the odd very specifically k-pop stuff too, from time to time.  Ultimately I like writing and I always intend to continue it, and doing things this way allows me to keep things interesting for myself and not burn out.

Thanks for your support!  I find it very motivational when people appreciate my writing.  I’ll continue to do my best to bring you an ad-free k-pop reading experience that isn’t like anything else currently out there.  Expect it fondly!


That’s all for this month’s QRIMOLE!  This series will return next month!  In the meantime remember that Gibson guitars are trash!

Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE?  If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage!  Kpopalypse will return!


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